“The great thing about suicide is that it’s not one of those things you have to do now or you lose your chance. I mean, you can always do it later.”

That’s what always starts it.

Not having anything to do, but lay there and think about all the problems
in yourself and in your life.

You get to thinking and realize
I hate everything about myself.

You find yourself reaching for a blade
and dragging it across your fragile, pale skin.

Blood dripping out.
so much

You pass out
to not only see the scars in the morning,
but realizing…

What if I never get help?
Do I even want help?

Honestly, I don’t know if I can answer either of these.
I just want to give up..


“A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.”

Today, I wore a dress.
I am beautifully wrapped in polka dots and colors
People are actually noticing me.
They’re saying things that I haven’t heard people say about me before.
You look pretty
Wow, you’re beautiful
It makes a difference on how a girl sees herself.

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”

As of today, I haven’t eaten a full meal in three days.
My stomach is growling, but honestly, I don’t care what it craves anymore.
Whenever I try to eat.. it never stays down.
A constant battle with my body.
What do you think you’re doing? You can’t eat.”
I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I started cutting again.
I’m really disappointed in myself.

That’s nothing new.