Recovery.

Day One.
I can tell this is going to be hard. Today is only the first day without cutting and honestly,
I’m already having urges. I don’t want to relapse. I want to get better. I think that my body and mind may want something different though. My “tools” have already been taken from me, from my parents and I’ve been given strict instructions on not using or having any thing sharp. I’m going to start a journal and every time that I have and urge, I’m going to write it down. It’s not a big thing, but it’s a good start (I think).
I’m mainly focusing on the cutting, but I’m also working on my bulimia problem too.
I’m going to start eating a bit healthier, but I’m going to focus on smaller portions right now, until I can eat those everyday and be okay.
Today I have had:

  • half of an orange
  • a cookie
  • and some chips
  • along with some water

It’s going to take time, effort, and commitment and I think that I’m finally ready to accept the challenge and learn some self-control.
Wish me luck.

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One thought on “Recovery.

  1. I not only wish you luck, but I believe you can do it! I will warn you, you will have triggers (like getting upset about something or feeling bad about yourself) and the first thing you will think about is doing what you did before, performing some kind of self-injurious behavior rather its cutting or bulimia. Don’t do it! Distract yourself, do something else. Take a nap, or clean up, or paint your nails or watch tv. Just remember you are training mind to not do something its used to doing. So when you start to think about it, remember that it is normal to still think about it even though you don’t want to do it anymore, but you need to find other ways to deal with your emotions, even if you just have to cry it out. I want you to stop taking your frustrations out on yourself. You are being to hard on yourself and I am glad you are committed to stopping that today. -Fant

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