Day nine

You’ve been away to basic training for nine days, now. 
I miss you like crazy.
I’m not completely falling apart, but I do feel a bit empty without you here.
Most people ask about the sexual relationship between and us and if I miss it..
Tbh I do, but I miss cuddling with you and just being in your presence more than anything. 
You mean the world to me and without you, my world has no meaning.
78 more days and I’ll get to see your handsome face..along with those sexy dress blues.
I love you, James.
And I’m here..just like I promised. 

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Well, it’s been a while, you guys.

I kind of gave up on my recovery tbh.
My boyfriend left for basic training, for the Marines, last Monday… it’s been extremely rough. 
He was my rock. My shoulder to cry on. Kind of my guardian angel, I guess you could say.
The day he left, I broke down. Butchered my legs severely. 30 cuts in every direction, deep enough to scar most definitely. 
I have had about 14 hours of sleep total, since he left. I’ve hardly eaten and although I haven’t cut since that one day, I’ve definitely had the urges.
It sucks.
I’m back in school. SENIOR YEAR
Finally realizing that soon, I’ll be facing the real world and, for me, that’s a real hard pill to swallow. 
I’m terrified of the real world. Almost light-headed at the thought.
Some days, I’m sure I won’t make it.. other days, I almost have hope. 
HOPE
Hold on, pain ends.
So I’m hoping, with everything that’s in me.
Anyway, comment or something.
Bye guys.